The conversation at the relatives last night could have been lifted from a meet the Press round table with Shields and Brookes. Much debate on the fine points of whether or not HIlary should get out (yes, but she won’t), was Obama electable against McCain (no, American’s will trust McCain more because he is a war hero) and how much longer the primary season would last. It always amazes me how seriously your average Jordanian takes the US political process.

One enduring side-affect of my brief stint as a shoe salesman back in college is a predilection for checking out people’s shoes. Where some guys look at bosoms, others to the side, I take a sneak peek at the feet. Cheap, dirty and unshined do not make a good impression.

Thus, with my shoe fetish established, it is understandable that while sitting in a mind-numbingly banal parent’s meeting today I checked out everyone’s footwear.  The first mom had on these nondescript taupe wedge, mule things that looked strikingly similar to nursing shoes. Disappointed, I snuck a glance at the next pair, which were similar, nondescript, dark brown, wedge, mule things. What? I checked out the rest of the footwear and sure enough, all the moms were wearing the same style of shoes – which were all equally nondescript, wedge, mule things that really did evoke the image of nurse Helga. However, the similarity didn’t stop there. When I really focused, I also picked up a decisive trend in the attire – apparently velor track suits have made a huge comeback among “ahel Abdoun.”

Apparently the need of the upper classes to conform to the point of resembling a tribe of smurfs is not tempered by actual style. Nondescript, wedge, mule things that make you look like a nurse at the end of a long shift (especially with the ubiquitous white ankle socks) do not make one look sophisticated or upscale – regardless of what they cost – which I assume is quite a lot. I was left with three questions – who is the West Amman fashonista who set this particular trend? Does she have a sense of humour? And, is the Grand Bazar in Istanbul now stocking knocked-off nondescript, wedge, mule, nursing shoe things?

After a small spat with the spouse over the length of the shower and an admonishment to turn the faucet off while brushing teeth…. I self-flagellated myself to work in my freshly washed car. (Hey, it’s one bucket of water! Not a hose!) Imagine my surprise and shock when I passed a lush, green traffic island on Medina street being watered by a municipal truck! The city worker was lavishing spouts of water on the green scape in such amounts that it was washing into the street – right in front of an apartment building with a water truck pulled up to the front, ostensibly refilling the tank depleted by an errant spouse taking 15 minute showers (or worse, doing 3 loads of laundry in one day). Did Ammanat Amman not get the memo? Did someone forget to explain that one square meter of grass needs one square meter or water – PER DAY!

Try ice plants!

I used my re-usable bags today when grocery shopping. It was quite an adventure but I persevered in my quest to support Jordan’s fragile environment. That plastic bags are overused in Jordan is an understatement. Everything from post-cards to goat carcasses are encased in plastic. Some are custom and some are “off- the rack.” My personal favorites are the small, embossed pharmacy bags that carry your prescriptions and can double as a purse or man-bag in a pinch! Functionality aside, most plastic bags do not end up in landfills but are all-too oftened chucked out of car windows to adorn the landscape.  A guest we were driving on a “scenic” route in the Kingdom inquired whether Jordan in fact raised plastic bags as a cash crop and how many varieties of “Plastic Bag Trees” were native to the landscape – ouch…..

Thus, I was pleasantly surprised when the local Wal-Martez-Vous (AKA Carrefour) began advertising and selling reuasable shopping bags.  Of course, reusable shopping bags are a familiar staple back home in “Gahd’s Country.”  Yup, 5 cents off your order for any re-used bag. My every thrifty mother had them carefully stowed in the back of the Volvo. God forbid you forgot to use them, or worse, return them to the trunk when the groceries were unpacked.  And as with all things, when environmentalism became more upscale, there were re-usable vegetable bags and wine cozys too!

There they were, tucked under the Carrefour check out- complete with a signature black-Iris. Of  course my spouse was certain I had gone completely crackers – “We are not in the States my dear…” Yes, I know but here they are and lets “do our part!” Eyes rolled, negotiations ensure – agree to get 2 bags as we do already re-use the plastic bags for garbage instead of purchasing plastic bags from the aggressive plastic bag salesmen in the parking lot.

Of course, I bought 4 more on my next solo trip. However, the trip after that I forgot they were in the trunk….

My next grocery trip I endeavored to use them in Safeway. The check out clerk was puzzled but agreed it was a good idea. Unfortunately, he packed everything carefully in Safeway bags before putting them into the re-usable bags….. gnash of teeth.

I was determined, next trip I would use them successfully.  I arrived at carrefour, and distracted by a phone call, got all the way into the canned goods before remembering to remember! Undaunted, I went back to the car. Foiled! they weren’t there! My helper had carefully folded them and stowed them in the pantry after the last double-bagging at the safeway.

After another false start at Abella. I finally managed to re-use my bags.  My small contribution to the eco-system complete I will take my felafel sandwich out of the small white sack and…..

Oh well!

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